Join us for a heavy dose of research with a dash of comedy thrown in for flavor. It seems easier in the moment, but at what hidden costs? Terrifying, simultaneously, to see how this strategy operates and deceives intelligent and discerning people. Theyre doing the heavy lifting when it comes to compiling my story for the public, not just for its sheer shock-factor, but because Im far from the only victim of psychopathic abuse. He finally has our full attention. I havent always written about heavy topics like abuse recovery, but after coming within 8 days of marrying a sociopath, my day-to-day thoughts and life took a massive turn. One moment his extended family was super close in a way I could never understand. In the next, it wasnt worth visiting them because they were going to kick the bucket soon. I never had to obtain the "approval" of my sister -- it's just a lot of input for this poor woman and a lot to satisfy. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w Listen Later. As the numbness wears off and Im pulling old files to compile my story, I read texts with clear eyes. Sara and Tiffany answer listener questions and reflect back on the season thus far. That SAME song always, is so indescribably bad. What then proceeded from his mouth is apparently something called Word Salad. Something Was Wrong started as a way of documenting the experience of Sara, a woman who thought she was marrying the man of her dreams, but as the podcast's title suggests turned out to be incredibly wrong. It makes me cringe. (Imagine that going down in 2018. When it was clear we were spiraling out of control, in His consistency God abided by His own rules and sent someone without sin to shed blood for us, so we wouldnt have to keep sacrificing flawless animals the Old Testament way to approach Him. I felt sick to my stomach and wish Id reacted differently now, but at that point my discernment had faded and I deferred to him. 2. That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. Enjoy it., It wasnt until my vocal instructor countered my argument of the day with a phrase that rang in my ears for years to follow: You need to get over yourself.. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. I was straightforward and told him exactly what I wrote at the beginning of this paragraph so that he could understand why his words hurt me so badly. I was stunned. Season 6 explores these questions and more through stories of first person encounters with some of the internets most depraved offenders. Even fears of those tightly-held dreams of having a family or significant other not happening or being shelved. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. What if exposure isnt such a bad thing? "SmartLess" with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, & Will Arnett is a podcast that connects and unites people from all walks of life to learn about shared experiences through thoughtful dialogue and organic hilarity. And having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God -Rom 6:22. Tee and Sylvia become closer as Sylvia and her son experience health challenges. We dont belong to sin or the world. Amy shares a personal story of pain, healing, survival and her search for justice. All excuses, brain-washing, and influences melted away. People will have opinions on your storyand you might not like all of those opinions. He looked at me for a moment, then a soft expression came over his face as he said, Me too.. When my story is released to the public, in all its true-crimey-ness, Im thrilled to know that it will ultimately point to the miracle He did in rescuing me. He actually laughed, shaking his head! Pretty dang quickly. (Genesis 1:31, paraphrased.) They pointed out how it was technically inaccurate because it was taken out of context. If I was a gossip, help me see and change it. Unraveling situations and scenarios over the past 9 months has brought so much peace. It is out of those days that our roots are deepened in their search for water. Although I sort of saw the humor in it (because I was open & trusted where I stood with him), looking back, it made me feel hurt, insecure and confused around how to play along. Im sorry, podcast listeners: It was in that same Blue Bottle on a Thursday afternoon that I saw one of the letters Bryan and Kimmy sent me on his laptop screen. Then it uses those keys to wreak havoc where trust was carefully built. Another way to listen early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery App. We find our own ways to ask, Am I enough?. I have a hard time separating my ideas of others dreams for me vs. my dreams for myself. They use the good to outweigh the bad, especially if there are no outward signs. It was a miraculous instance of God opening the eyes of one of His own whod been deceived into choosing a dangerous situation. Looking around, Im surrounded by incredible people to champion and go to war for me. Claim and edit this page to your liking. I want my friends to feel safe. I remember my piano instructor taking me so far beyond what I thought a piece could possibly require from a pianists hands and brain. I definitely was emotional and thankful, but they still talk about the grand scale of his reaction and how uncomfortable it made everyone. This is not a place to promote your podcast. 1. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. (Opus. The answer is absolutely yes. For various reasons, we often try to convince ourselves that we deserve less than our dreams. Later while I was getting ready for bed in the bathroom, the tears started coming and I couldnt stop them. like seriously awful. Analyzing every response, I got very quiet and in my head. ray hasek beverly donofriostihl ms 291 parts diagram $ 3.00 $ 2.00. orbital mechanics course. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! ), Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. Especially women. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. I had been duped and thereis something better. The more conversations Im having with people in similar situations, the more amazed I am by their resiliency and strength. Happy Tuesday from Tennessee! Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. I believed that charming, selfless man would come back he was just under some stress today. I still believed some literal lies told that needed time to unravel to see everything clearly, even after finding out they were lies. A cornered narcissist will spin you up in so many words that youll forget the origin of the conversation, forget your own point, and somehow end up at fault for something you still dont understand. Beautiful day. S1 E1: There Were No Red Flags. (I realize not everyone reading this shares my beliefs. Classified Ads. Hours later when Id suggest we cook at home to save money, he would insist we eat dinner at the most expensive sushi restaurant in Sacramento. Why? Suddenly his explanation changed from claiming he hadnt said it, to having said it but Id completely misread the whole thing. But that song that plays at the intro and the end. As Iridian begins her new job, the workplace gossip and odd interactions circle closer and closer to home. Follow Sara Lewis on Instagram @SpaceandPurpose Check out Sara's Blog spaceandpurpose.com Something Was Wrong Podcast, featuring Sara's story Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show Latest Episodes [Diana] The Devil in Disguise New Episodes First E S15 E5 Feb 23, 2023 1 hr 9 min Play with Wondery+ You [everyone] in the beginning.. Otherwise it just reveals a lack of character.). (Including but doubtfully limited to: texting me as 2 friends (a married couple with kids) that hed completely fabricated since week 2, and seeing other women at the same time via different dating apps than hed said hed been on when we met. Itll never fit. Agreed. Im thankful for this past year, because my God is quickly turning a dark time completely around into something beautiful. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. I believe the story from The Year that is No More is not my own. Eight days out, I was ready to move forward at full speed, thinking a wedding was the answer to serious problems. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. Aww honey, you just thats not what I said! Ohhhh me. Once we were alone in my room I asked what was going on. Or we feel we need someone. The more I piece together, the more freedom and healing comes. Humans are hardwired to need a vision, a hope of something more, something bigger than ourselves to invest in and be part of. Podcast Discovery . Just forcing myself to share the good, badand ugly because it does coexist, but all bad, ugly things make Gods goodness shine brighter in contrast. Just before that, though, I had been on my piano playinga Chopin Etude Id been assigned my very first year in college, as a wide-eyed homeschooler walking into classrooms for the first time since elementary school. Many times Id come home to $300+ of Whole Foods groceries in the fridge. He claimed he could say things like that because he used to be fat too. It happens to have twists that make for great listening, which only gets it to more ears that might need to hear it. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. So how quickly did I choose other things once church was canceled? What an injustice. That dude needs major help. And have control issues. He doesnt want a casual connection- He wants our fire, our very worst AND best. What will we attempt when we no longer see our lack, but His potential? Even the sister does. I was in shock for several blocks while he bounced up and down in the drivers seat like a big kid in a puddle. Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Your preferences, feelings, quirks, looks, secrets, weaknesses, strengths they all matter. Youll see information about Young Living and probably food, cause it matters to me and Iplan my travels based on the destinations snacks. Popular shows today. add a review Rate Podcast Play Apps List Bookmark Share Contact This Podcast Something felt different. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I, We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we, . We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. Lots of good ones but this is the best! Show Notes: if that's what it takes to get my daughter to see clearly. This episode comes out for free on Thursday, March 9th 2023. According to the DSM-5, traits of APD include: I was flippantly told multiple stories from his childhood about rebellion, lying, and getting in trouble with authority. I could dissect it, but for now, at least Ive discerned it. Audible $0.00 Amazon Music $0.00 Free Listen Now No membership required Tens of thousands of podcasts Listen in the app or on any Alexa device Listen with Audible App All Episodes (162) I dont feel wanted here. I kept asking myself, how did we get here?. He, meets me. It breaks my heart. Add a hefty sprinkle of guilt for feeling that way, since Im fully aware of my safety and blessings in the moment, and you have the tension of right now. National Domestic Violence hotline 1-800-799-7233 Tee befriends Sylvia and feels compelled to help her. I get being close with your family, but man goodness, cut the cord already. (I made brave choices while crying in the corner of a kitchen floor; it didnt paint a sexy portrait of bravery.) I was watching Richard Grannons youtube video on Covert Narcissists and found it to be one of the most well-rounded explanations Ive seen. Stress, family drama, work, something was always burdening him. r/podcasts: a subreddit to discover, discuss, and review podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts. If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. Join the something was wrong Facebook to learn about him. Choosing peace that blatantly opposes the storm around them. thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks then look no further. And then support her when she needs to get away for this nutball. Weddings ARE expensive, after all. Its close. Responded as if I could do no wrong because he was in awe of everything. Since I was still healing and my sense of self-worth was mid-restoration, I couldnt feel a proper anger over what someone had done or tried to do to me. Was recently suggested the podcast Something was Wrong by a good friend, and wow is it GOOD! Season 7. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award Winning docu-series podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. If we didnt hear that message at crucial times from a parent or similar figure, well seek it elsewhere. Their pain is still painted in subtle strokes across their social media posts. Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies start with Antisocial Personality Disorder. She was about to marry a dude that duped her into becoming friends with people that he created out of thin air, and unprovoked kicked and injured a dog. It wasnt until hours later, at dinner (I still remember the really cool Asian restaurant we discovered in Oakland), that he tilted his head like a parent would toward a child and said, When are you going to talk to me about what you saw earlier today? The weirdest conversation proceeded. Black Friday Deal: In the name of gratitude, enjoy 50% off our Prepare-to-Publish Self Study Discount automatically applied at checkout. but decided on a whim to got back to season one and listen to Sara's whole story. Play It makes no sense to outside observers; it can even appear counterintuitive to fight fear with stillness. Another way to listen early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery App. Take me back to the beginning every single day. It was very beautiful, covered in blossoming vines and beautiful flowers, but it was a wall. In my case, since Im obviously the main character here, Im in the checkout line at the grocery store and the cashier definitely says, Nice day to start a blog!, Cashier: I said nice day for a jog! When they took him to dinner WITHOUT HER after just a few dates my jaw dropped. See historical chart positions, all 199 episodes, and more. Welcome to the Official Crime Junkie Store! You in the beginning.. seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. Or experiencing fulfillment. Genuinely curious), especially in light of his critical comments on alcohol. Ill never forget a time in San Francisco when he purposefully drove his truck out of the way through a flooded corner, sending a massive wall of water straight up into the air that came crashing down on a crowd of people waiting to cross the street. On my off days, when Im not focused on how God sees me, I feel pretty basic and unoriginal. I am not licensed to diagnose, but trusty ol Google checklists for APD and Sociopathy fit my experiences nearly 100%. I was constantly confused by inconsistency. *Content warning: Substance Use Disorder, emotional abuse, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, workplace abuse. Rather than beating a dead horse, taking time to figure things out has helped solidify the ground beneath my feet. Hear from survivors who have never before agreed to share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. It seeks out keys to their carefully guarded hearts, then handles them with great care until theyre granted full access. My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. As part of this mission, r/podcasts is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. For those who are in recovery and by some chance are reading this, gosh I hope this stream of raw consciousnesshelps in some way. Hot Podcasts. I have a feeling she's had to be the family empath, which made it a natural role with the narcissist fiance. (Im generalizing. My sin was very subtly (but constantly) pointed out as time went on not to keep me at the feet of Jesus, but to keep me confused and feeling small compared to the kind person calling it out. (What would I have ever done without their helpful insight into my weaknesses?) Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. During this season, chemicals are bonding me to him and altering my brain, making it increasingly difficult to see clearly no matter how intelligent or discerning I might be. 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