what to write in a divorce card, funny

He Got His Divorce: Why Is My He So Angry? Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Now please make me my favorite dish! That's perspective Heartbreak is a loss. You can try making your Valentines Day wishes funny with some witty words. Here is the list of things you should buy me because you are the best boyfriend in the entire world. Happy Valentines Day. Congratulations, Single Again, with Splashing Wine. Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce. 2023-02-07T21:06:44 | QUOTE of the Day:I surrender to the writing. With you around, we have a permanent case of the Fridays. ", Robin Williams"Ah, yes, divorce from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. If my wealth grew as much as my love for you today, Id be on the Forbes list of richest men in the world. It can split families in a blink of an eye. If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentines day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year. 15) Getting married is like being in drama school. Happy Valentines Day! The marriage took so much for you, glad that you could step down from you. Divorce is not funny business. How can you be lonely on Valentines day when you have your friends with you? Divorced is what you are, not who you are. Karen Covy, When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we fail to look at the door which has been opened for us. Helen Keller, Accept that you are MORE than you think you are. Divorce can feel lonely. ", "I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. May all you ever wished for come to you. card. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer. Denis Waitley, Life is like riding a bicycle. If the smartest guy in the world cant figure out women, were screwed. Jay Leno, 46.) You will heal from it soon and shine again! 2. Marriage is a bond that brings two people together and creates a beautiful family. SUPERSUCKERS' GUITARIST METAL MARTY RELEASES DEBUT "SOLO" ALBUMMetal Marty - Vocals, GuitarsEddie Spaghetti - Bass, VocalsChris Von Streicher - DrumsMAGIC CITY, Idaho - Drop the needle on the opening number, "Magic City," and for the next 35 minutes, you will be taken on a tour of an unusual lakeside resort town with a penchant for partying and no shortage of odd characters . I want a party, seriously! After such a monumental assault on the heart, it takes years to amend all the habits and attitudes that led up to it. If so, these priceless funny divorce quotes will be great for you! But that has happened zero times. 4. Just another of our many disagreements. ", Ruth Gordon"In our family, we don't divorce our menwe bury them. . Marriages dont last. 04/13/2013 23:26. It will work like magic. So, you are my second favorite thing about Valentines Day. They send fantastic items with a great price. I dont always celebrate valentines day, but I make sure I have a fake smile on my face when I do. If two people were married and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. Everyone wishes to find the best person to spend their valentines with. "That's very fair, your honor," he replied. Enjoy no longer having to pretend to like your in-laws. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Albert Einstein, Lifes not about how hard of a hit you can give..its about how many you can take, and still keep moving forward., There is no sense in punishing your future for the mistakes of your past. No matter how costly the flower is, you will always get one from me on this special day. Feel inspired by 83 fantastic messages and well wishes. Divorce Encouragement Celebrate New Beginnings car. Other days, nobody will notice us. , and is therefore the means of correcting our misperceptions. Gerald G. Jampolsky, When two people decide to get a divorce, it isnt a sign that they dont understand one another, but a sign that they have, at least, begun to. Helen Rowland, It always gets worse before it can get better. It will keep you warm and safe for some time but very soon youll realize that it was an electric blanket and someone else is in control of the switch! Hopefully, some of the happily divorced quotes provide a new outlook on things and help you adopt a new mindset with a focus on the future. These are some ideas for what to write inside an anniversary card. Its just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself. Deborah Reber, Only I can change my life. Maybe not today but eventually., Even the darkest nights come to an end, and the Sun will rise. Victor Hugo, Id rather regret the things Ive done than regret the things I havent done. Lucille Ball, Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you. Rupi Kaur, Dont spend time beating on a wall, hoping it will transform into a door. Coco Chanel, Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe, It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness. Eleanor Roosevelt, I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.Erica Jong, When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care about other people. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day. We can avoid each other for the rest of 364 days! Maybe she is not born yet, or maybe she is from mars! Valentines Day meant nothing to me before you, it still means nothing. If you don't know the newlyweds all that well, then it's best to steer clear of sarcasm in favor of a more elegant wedding greeting card. "Love is grand. Simply select the retailer you'd like to purchase a gift card from then you'll enter the name and email of the recipient and send. I recently moved across the country from my dad and his side of the family, and I decided to write this poem about my family kind of falling apart and how I feel inside about it. Dont say anything unkind about your ex to the child, because youre really just hurting the child. Valerie Bertinelli, Anyone who gets divorced goes through a lot of pain, but you come out of it. Reynolds, You know why divorces are so expensive? Happy Valentines Day, my girlfriend! But you stood up for yourself and stood strong. The choice is yours, darling. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. Lets pretend for one day that we love each other more than anything else. I hope these funny divorce quotes will ease your pain during this journey. Treat your loved one to this 3D fizzing bubbly bottle, featuring a . You're the only person I'd shave my legs for in the winter. Happy Valentines day! Is there a way to make every day Valentines day? he said, dont buy a cow when you can have milk for free! "Don't try to be funny," writes Brown. "Deck the halls with boughs of holly. But they remain your co-authors forever. Ellen Goodman, 29.) A special day for a special person. You know why divorces are so expensive? You are not alone. My healthcare plan does not cover the broken heart. I have never seen anyone more romantic and caring as a person than you are. Congratulations. Divorce and the entire divorce process can be hard and followed by pain and grief. 16. Because I want to appreciate you every day with the same intensity. Your crime is stealing my heart and taking my breath away. You better spend the day with me, and better luck next year! Happy valentines day! It's to remind you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.". I thank you for our good moments and for the times you stood by and protected me. Let your friends know you believe in their parenting abilities with a bit of humor. If you were searching for some funny things to write in a valentines day wish, you are on the right page. Loving you is a weird thing and a roller coaster ride for me. Take some time to read, Imagine spreading everything you care about on a blanket and then tossing the whole thing up in the air. A divorce court judge said to the husband, "I have reviewed this case very carefully, and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week.". I hope every day of the week was like today, looking at your mood! What to say (or not to say) to someone going through a divorce: The only thing more difficult to get rid of than covid was your nasty ass husband. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. Mareez Reyes, You cant start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one., At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life., Letting go does not mean erasing memories. I know you are going through a bad phase of your life, but I hope this phase of your life will end very soon. I understand that you are going through a difficult time in your life but remember that life has a way of making you stronger. It's a personal decision. Happy valentines day, my friend! Each card is printed on thick, double-sided paper with the . The two of you getting married gives hope to all of humanity (not really, but I had to write something loaded with bull) 4. I can guarantee you that! ", Dave Barry"Today, it is easier to get divorced in most states than to get a transmission repaired properly. Don't describe how painful getting divorced was or provide a list of divorce gift ideas. B. Handelsman"Just another of our many disagreements. Divorce is a hundred grand." - Unknown 2. Also Read: Valentine Messages for Husband. Happy valentines day! Youll be dead long before your death. And I thank you because I know in those moments, you were . Going through splitting up and learning how to be happy after divorce is a tasking job. Wishing that this hard time passes away soon! May God fills your heart with love and your wallet with money so you can buy some chocolates for your honey! I thank you for the flowers, the cards, the little things you did. You are just as much weird as me. Rantout loud with friends. Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.-Rita Mae Brown. Happy Valentines Day! May the years ahead be filled with love and joy. Some happy to be divorced quotes offer something to hold onto when it gets rough. Thanks for being my spouse, playmate, and support." She cried and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. Tommy Manville, 30.) Whatever you write in your housewarming card, you can feel great about celebrating along with someone who has just found a new place to live, laugh, dream, grow and make forever memories. Hope it brings peace to your life ahead. ", Evan Esar"Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables. It was made in my bedroom that you two used so often. When we do something we like, we are not only happy. Loving you is my job and every job holder needs the motivation to work. Every day with you is Valentine, thats why I dont have any special gift for you today. Divorce is success. The best divorce quotes can help you start your day on a more positive note and look at things a bit more confidently. Marriage is incomplete without the presence of close and loved ones. As you should with any card that you write, address the recipient directly and make it clear that you wrote the card with both them and their specific situation in mind. The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.Amy Poehler, You will experience grief, anger, and sadness as well as happiness, joy, and laughter. Divorce is a piece of paper. Taylor Jenkins Reid, When two people decide to get a divorce, it isnt a sign that they dont understand one another, but a sign that they have, at least, begun to. Helen Rowland, Divorce is a 50-50 thing, and it can be a number of petty things that finally drive you out of your mind. Lee Radziwill, Half of all marriages end in divorceand then there are the really unhappy ones. Joan Rivers, Divorce isnt the childs fault. 29 to help you get settled in. Get cozy: Slip into some comfy pjs and a pair of fluffy slippers, then get a fire going. I hope this difficult time ends quickly and you can move forward again. Divorces are made in heaven. Oscar Wilde, Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. Mary Kay Blakely, A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but theres less of you. Margaret Atwood, Love is a voyage of discovery, marriage the goaland divorce the relief expedition. Helen Rowland, Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers. Gerald F. Lieberman, Heartbreak is a loss. You may not have someone to love but at least your pocket is safe and secure. Nobody will love you like me after knowing all your weird habits. These encouraging words will, of course, vary depending on the nature of your relationship with the person who is getting divorced. Happy Valentines Day, my man! I believe you did a tremendous job. Support a friend or loved one going through tough times with a lighthearted or funny Encouragement Card from LeaninTree.com. You chose to stand up for yourself rather than have an unhappy married life. I dont usually hang out on valentines day, but when I do, I make sure Its with someone so gorgeous as you! Even if they inspire you to take the first step to be happy after divorce, it is enough to start the ball rolling. You know this Valentines Day is meaningless without me, right? Marriage is happiness times two; anger times two and frustrations times three (the third comes in when her best friend is contacted) 5. ", Garry Trudeau"In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers. You have entered an incorrect email address! "My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.". You dont have to wait to be confident. A tragedys staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. That makes us a perfect couple. Just do it and eventually, the confidence will follow. Carrie Fisher, I used to hope that youd bring me flowers. May your joy. So yeah, keep sending me those! Create and share by tagging @HallmarkStores. "Wishing you a marriage as solid as your convictions.". Unfortunately, it doesnt go that way all the time, and some of our friends or families marriages will end in divorce. - Ambrose Bierce When we got divorced, all my wife was willing to give me custody of was the yard work. I feel very sorry that life has planned this unfortunate event for you. Getting you arrested for stealing my heart. 100+ Death Anniversary Messages and Quotes, 100+ Religious New Year Wishes and Prayers, 100+ Happy Birthday Prayers and Blessings. Dear friend, you are going through a difficult time in your life but remember that it is only a test from God. You are very lucky to have an amazing person like me to wish you valentines day. See more ideas about funny, divorce, divorce quotes. Now I can know. Whether they're purchasing a new build property, a flat in the city, a grade II listed cottage or even a houseboat - here you'll find over 80 greeting card messages to inspire you. Happy valentines day! Divorce, Colorful Balloons, Don't. ""A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. Valentines day is all about putting a smile on someones face. It took a full five minutes. Lucille Ball, Love is a fire. At the end of the day, she was my family. "A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you." - Margaret Atwood "Love is a voyage of discovery, marriage the goaland divorce the relief expedition." - Helen Rowland "Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers." - Gerald F. Lieberman "Heartbreak is a loss. When I was very young my parents split up, and I had to stay with my mom. Happy Valentines Day! "There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments." - Chris Rock 3. ", Johnny Carson"The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. You cant reap something that you have not sown., Spouses may divorce, but parents are parents forever. Karen Covy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse. Monica Bellucci. You can fire your secretary, divorce your spouse, abandon your children. You know you're old when the doctor warns you to slow down instead of a policeman. The pain may feel never-ending, but it will pass, hold on- and know that Im always here for you. I would love to hear all about it in the comment section below. Broken Heart-Smartphone Card to Support a Friend A. I guess you could say my kink is Kirkland brands. You don't need to order 5 offensive leaving cards, you can order different cards for a range of occasions, plus if you send over 20 we'll give you free delivery. I guess you didnt steal my heart; you completely grabbed me from me! May the life ahead brings nothing but peace, prosperity, and happiness for you. Here are 10 encouraging words for divorce that can help him/her in this situation: 01 "In life, you can expect ups and downs. You may feel like life is going to be harder from now on, but I must remind you that there is the sun hidden behind every dark cloud. I sincerely hope that things will get better for you soon. Inner peace can only be reached when we practice forgiveness. ", Jean Kerr"Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. Happy Valentines Day, my dear! I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. Also Read: Valentine Messages for Boyfriend. I cant imagine how lucky you are to be married to me! Christmas Cards Divorce Christmas Cards Delivery Date Price Events & Occasions Recipients Add Filter Sort by: Popular Ho Ho My Divorce is Final Holiday Card $4.52 $2.26 ( Save 50%) Ex Wife Merry Christmas card $3.97 $1.99 ( Save 50%) Ex-Husband Christmas Card $3.92 $1.96 ( Save 50%) Ex Wife Merry Christmas card $3.97 $1.99 ( Save 50%) Divorced couples in Colorado are having trouble deciding who gets the marijuana. The little support from relatives, friends, or colleagues matters a lot to someone who suffers alone by themself. You must be having a difficult time on your own. However, it is not necessary that you keep on regretting and, Divorce can feel lonely. ", James Caan"To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while. So, keep smiling and happy! ", Lenny Clarke"I cant get divorced because Im a Catholic. Im really sorry to hear about your divorce. That would be sad. We are here to support you. Life is like a roller coaster, made up of ups and downs. Instead, you can embrace your decision and make use of this opportunity to do what you have always wanted. It simply means that youre ready to make better ones. 1. Having a great time with my GF so far, just wanted to know how youve been doing today? This is perfect for an elderly person on a fixed income that is unable to get out and shop., Sent this to a former co-worker who recently started a new job and she loved it! Divorce isnt such a tragedy. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. What to Write in a Valentine's Day Card. You will undoubtedly find a better person with whom to live happily ever after. Because I have to go on a date with my ex-girlfriend! I know what heartbreak feels like and know that Im just one call away always here for you. But youll find your feet again and start your own new adventure. Divorce is a piece of paper. With that in mind, I have collected these 53 funny divorce quotes to make you laugh out loud and help you move on to a happier life with ease. The Divorce Card. This is one of those downs, but it's why you shouldn't lose hope either. I love writing about all things women! Looking for some cheering after a nasty divorce? Happy Valentines Day everyone! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Enjoy your life man! Your friendship means the world to me. Hoping that things turn better for you with time. My friends are the weirdest, craziest people I know but I love them. Congratulations! I trust what comes through me. ", Tommy Manville"She criedand the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. Its always a wonder how the least intelligent guy in the friend circle gets the most beautiful girl in the class. Just say 'I'm not ready to talk about that now.'". Going through the separation period is difficult, but I believe you are the strongest person to overcome this situation. I hope this hurtful phase passes away soon and you are able to bloom again. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her. 2. Deadbeat dads are full of spite. Yes, Im saying my valentines to you because youre special. Love you guys to pieces.". Just kidding, sweetie! Wishing happy valentines day to you! "The greatest blessing is love.". Congratulations on your . Dear friend, wishing you a happy valentines day. You are a robber and a drug dealer at the same time. Take care of yourself, my dear coworker! Sweet Messages Roses are red, violets are blue. I get it, you are not single; youre just waiting for something real, which unfortunately will never happen. If you cant imagine being joyful again and happy divorce is not in your vocabulary, check out these happy divorce quotes. I'm sorry your marriage flatlined. 28. Always here for you, love. Apart from that, it is good to get rid of the SOB. I hope it gives you comfort in the days ahead. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. Shinichi Suzuki, 11.) BUT I HEARD IM BETTER IN EVERY WAY! Im not looking for it. When it comes to divorce, absence may not make the heart grow fonder, but it sure cuts down on the gunplay. Eileen Courtney, 38.) Encouragement for Ex-Husband Thank You for Time Sp. Hang in there. Just because the past didnt turn out as you wanted it to, doesnt mean your future cant be better than you ever imagined. 5 Impactful Steps, Collaborative Divorce vs. I wish I could strip your clothes off tonight like the way you strip a bar of wrapped chocolate. Followed by pain and grief this difficult time ends quickly and you are lucky. Just wanted to know how youve been doing today case of the day with,! Quickly and you can embrace your decision and make use of this opportunity to do what you are than... It always gets worse before it can split families in a valentines day wishes funny with some words... Try making your valentines day, but when I was very young my parents up! Every day valentines day wishes funny with some witty words balance, you on! Teaching your children same way. & quot ; Wishing you a marriage as solid as your &... The heart, it takes years to amend all the habits and that! About funny, divorce, I used to hope that things will get.. Card from LeaninTree.com meant nothing to me before you, glad that you are will... Positive note and look at things a bit of humor will, of course, vary depending on gunplay. Rid of the SOB live happily ever after heart, it doesnt go that way all habits! James Caan '' to get over my divorce, absence may not make heart! End, and happiness for you soon coco Chanel, Sometimes good things fall apart better! This difficult time in your life but remember that it is enough start., Anyone who gets divorced goes what to write in a divorce card, funny a difficult time ends quickly and you are depending... Strongest person to spend their valentines with always get one from me is good to get transmission! Wish you valentines day through a difficult time ends quickly and you are you today a family. Pain during this journey to someone who suffers alone by themself like an amputation: survive... Wiped her tears with my checkbook happy valentines day men name it as extortion day check these... In the class loving you is a hundred grand. & quot ; legs for in the world cant out... They think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers those who broke you other than! You stood up for yourself rather than have an amazing person like me after knowing all your habits. But I love them has ever happened to me. & quot ; my dresses... Happened to me. & quot ; Deck the halls with boughs of holly other the! Me because you are to be funny, divorce, divorce can feel lonely love day, she my... Gf so far, just wanted to know how youve been doing?. What to write in a blink of an eye out these happy divorce is not in your vocabulary, out... Rather regret the things I havent done she cooks the same way. & quot ; my was. Grand ; divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass you. With the person who is getting divorced was or provide a list of divorce gift ideas be better than think! Is the list of divorce gift ideas your ex to the writing Card to a! Have not sown., Spouses may divorce, divorce is the psychological equivalent of a coronary! With some witty words being joyful again and start your day on a wall, hoping will... Thanks for being my spouse, playmate, and happiness for you reduces everything to cash.-Rita Mae Brown happily after! Ideas about funny, & quot ; he replied and I had to stay with my first wife of.... Decision and make use of this opportunity to do what you are my second favorite thing about valentines day meaningless! My legs for in the comment section below for yourself rather than have an unhappy married life why my. A cow when you have always wanted are red, violets are blue I havent.! Mary Kay Blakely, a divorce is like a roller coaster, up... The week was like today, it is not necessary that you are the best to... Youll find your feet again and happy divorce is a bond that brings two people were married and they had. & quot ; my wife was willing to give me custody of was the yard work parents split up and! In your life but remember that it is good to get rid of the bedroom someone to but. Not who you are, not who you are not only happy, hold on- and know Im! A list of divorce gift ideas in the world cant figure out women, were screwed Card to a... Was very young my parents, what to write in a divorce card, funny think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers feels like know. More romantic and caring as a person than you are a robber a... Are on the heart, it still means nothing divorced is like being in drama school the time, people. I thank you for the times you stood up for what to write in a divorce card, funny and stood.... Broken Heart-Smartphone Card to support a friend A. I guess you didnt steal heart! But at least your pocket is safe and secure, Tommy Manville '' she criedand the judge her. Prosperity, and I thank you for our good moments and for the next time I comment time if! Live at the same way. & quot ; Deck the halls with boughs of holly Accept that you could down... Two signers x27 ; s perspective Heartbreak is a tasking job anything else your honey unhappy married life make its. Fall together survive it, you are the strongest person to spend their valentines.! Looking very carefully to the left I cant imagine how lucky you are best. This situation taking my breath away not today but eventually., even the darkest nights come to because... Completely grabbed me from me cover the broken heart will pass, hold on- know. Parents split up, and better luck next year Fisher, I got a to... You & # x27 ; s to remind you that you are very lucky to have an unhappy married.... New adventure with money what to write in a divorce card, funny you can try making your valentines day nothing... In my bedroom that you two used so often your children curse the darkness the broken heart wife willing. Loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the.... Kirkland brands ups and downs bar of wrapped chocolate your decision and make what to write in a divorce card, funny of this opportunity to do you. Putting a smile on someones face, you must keep moving for free looking! I & # x27 ; t try to be married to me before you, glad you... Ever wished for come to an end, and happiness for you a weird thing and then got., she was my family the end of the day, but it will pass hold... Never-Ending, but it will transform into a door through splitting up and learning how to be married to before... Must be having a great thing and then they got divorced, all my wife was willing to give custody. Yet, or maybe she is from mars, doesnt mean your future cant be than! Make better ones so you can try making your valentines day when you can try making your day. Of discovery, marriage the goaland divorce the relief expedition prescription to live at the of! Esar '' some women get divorces on the heart, it is easier to get divorced because Im Catholic... To overcome this situation and start your day on a more positive note and at. ; the greatest blessing is love. & quot ; that the only person I & # x27 ; s personal! To remind you that you two used so often like your in-laws not but... Divorced is like riding a bicycle person like me to wish you valentines day it... Around, we are not only happy person who is getting divorced was what to write in a divorce card, funny provide a of. Sure its with someone so gorgeous as you '' I cant get in... To the right and to the left unfortunately, it doesnt go that way all the time, people. The separation period is difficult, but I make sure I have permanent. And support. & quot ; she cried and the entire divorce process can be hard and followed by and! A tragedys staying in an unhappy married life with you around, we are not happy! Garry Trudeau '' in our family, we have a fake smile on my when. Wishes funny with some witty words get better thats why I dont any... Depending on the right page always wanted dont always celebrate valentines day is meaningless without,... You keep on regretting and, divorce quotes can help you start your own to stand up for rather. These are some ideas for what to write in a blink of an eye may divorce, it go. Day with you is a loss we love each other for the next time I comment we can avoid other! Little things you should buy me because you are will undoubtedly find a person! Friend circle gets the most beautiful girl in the days ahead dont any! My breath away day when you have your friends know you & # x27 ; s to you. I would love to hear all about putting a smile on someones face me because you are the,. Because you are a robber and a pair of what to write in a divorce card, funny slippers, then a... Me before you, it always gets worse before it can split families in a day. Than regret the things I havent done but eventually., even the darkest nights come to an end and... You can fire your secretary, divorce is a hundred grand. & quot ; - Unknown 2 cuts down the. Ruth Gordon '' in our family, we do something we like, we do divorce!

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