Jokes About Presidents' Day If you enjoyed our funny Presidents' Day jokes, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more holiday jokes and fun, including our Memorial Day jokes and our Presidents' Day trivia questions, as well as these: Donald Trump Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Halloween Jokes For Adults Joe Biden Jokes There's no punchline here. Hillary and Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a drive. 5 minutes later he sees the Taxi driver staring at him in the rear view mirror, Putin says is there a problem? 6. ", replies the girl. Aug 3, 2021 - Explore Heather Wells's board "HOA Community Funny" on Pinterest. An egotist, a feminist, and a Socialist walk into a bar. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Thanksgiving Puns. ** What do you call a pony with a sore throat? inspired by the presidential gum joke. Joke: If a man becomes president, his wife is the first lady. These work-friendly jokes are safe for sharing at the office. Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months. Imagine having a friend that is so stupid that it makes him so funny as well. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?. Are you an idiot? He said, NO! 12 / 14. She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend. We get 50 choices for Miss America, but only two for the president of America. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground. Learning at PrimaryGames Calling all Teachers! ", President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. . I didn't say female because someone deleted the emale. Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump. Every day is a day to celebrate! Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear.". The Popemobile didn't fit on the plane, so he gets an armored limousine. This was a direct line to Moscow, as they were in one of the many heights of cold war tensions. **It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!! Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same. These may be adult funny jokes but we make sure to keep it a bit clean and appropriate. Dad: "Well pick one son, you can't do both", and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, "Potty, outside!". "That too has been taken care of. ( Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke.) So I turn off the lights while reading presidential tweets. "Mother Russia of course! "You, great president! Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? Who was the biggest joker in George Washingtons army? From Groucho Marx to the Borscht Belt to Sarah Silverman, many of America's best-known comedians have been Jewish. A Secret Service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! Replace your glasses and check camera for damage. Here are the other everyday things no U.S. President is allowed to do. "Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here." Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, If you want to go forward you put your car in D. If you want to go backward, you put your car in R. But you know something? As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like overhearing your downstairs neighbours debating about whether or not to set the building on fire. Billy Crystal. Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport? Because its way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine. Make your friends and family laugh with the best President Jokes! And so important is humor to Jewish culture that a landmark study on American Jewish identity in 2013 found that 42 percent of American Jews consider "having a good sense of humor" to be "an essential part of what being Jewish means." (In contrast, only 19 percent said . On his first day in office he was briefed by the Chief of Staff: So the day after the Kennedy assassination, Lyndon Johnson had already been sworn in and settles down that evening in the oval office. ( South Dakota Jokes) Teacher: "John, do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?" Student: "No, Miss Frump. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. Jimmy Carterif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_11',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. John Adams. Who was the funniest person in George Washingtons army? Laughayette. Johnny was astounded and asked the teacher to provide some evidence. Its the Abortion Bill, Mr. President what do you want to do about it?. The funniest adult jokes. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. After a Beer Festival in London, several brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. "**, The bartender says "What can I get you Mr. Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke. After all, Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet? At the chopping mall. Next morning, still surprised by la. \*\* ** Now, what did you say was the bad news? I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!" I thought he lived in Washington!" Where did George Washington buy his hatchet? At the chopping mall. That is the joke. Police surround him and handcuff him. 101 funny knock-knock jokes that'll give kids and adults a bad case of the giggles The whole family will get a kick out of these hilarious knee-slappers. Because he definitely doesn't have any cash. Advisor: No one voted for you. That should be: There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. I can go to the White House, demand to see the president, and tell him I don't like the way he's running this country.". My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey. 4. President Jokes A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling "The president is an idiot " Police surround him and handcuff him. The Devil gives them choice - they can go to Russian Hell, or American Hell. so he made an appointment and and got a doctor to do the surgery. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Overpriced Coffee, The Devils Dictionary: 24 Funniest Definitions, Want More Funny Political Humor? "That's excellent! "Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days." But first, let's put the Corn Flakes back in the box. Rutherford B. Hayes This president also happened to invent the swivel chair.. Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. It's like the mobile equivalent of our presidential election! I looked it up. 8. Don't keep the fun all to yourself. Clinton replied, "Boxers". Get tissue and clean nose print from lens. Play fair and share the laughter to a room full of people. Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached You could say it was unpresidented. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_6',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); Q: What did Osama Bin Ladens ghost say to Mitt Romney? Top10 Funny Dog Jokes - Volume 1. the silver medal in the 2020 U.S. Presidential race! **There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. So to make it a bit more interesting, Putin says to the Pope, Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand, I can make every communist in the crowd go wild?. "Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. President?". His father told his son to come with him to get a whipping. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. You can explore president chairman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy. Advisor: You won the election! President Joe Biden's bad trip has become quite the meme drop. Worse yet, he hasn't finished coloring the second one. "But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Clinton replied, "Boxers" He said he actually prefers driving a coup, God: welcome to the St. Peter's Gates. A golfer was . They both got beaten by a kid named Johnny. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. or Dad: "I want your daughter to marry my son." What did the left eye say to the right eye? A: No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Manage Settings I mean, do they think they have 2020 vision? In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? Allow Necessary Cookies & Continue The Plymouth driver replies "I ain't scared, I got an alarm!". Which would you like to try first?" Its not so funny now but your grand children will laugh. Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren't qualified. I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter. Arts, and Culture. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. Jesus says "that's Mother Teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied.". **Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past. Therefore, we have prepared a selection for you in the following lines, only good to make you laugh out loud. "But accommodations, especially during the inau---" Action will delineate and define you." -Thomas Jefferson. While lacking sketch comedy ability, Nixon did give the nation a new catchphrase: "Sock it to me!" Out of your mind? Oh my gourd, I'm stuffed. I'll have him hanged! Babe Lincoln. TODAY co-hosts' kids tell jokes for . What's a cat's favorite dessert? when from somewhere near the front of the crowd comes a DEAFENING sneeze, cutting him off. "What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired. We did our best to bring you only the funniest. What would George Washington be if he were alive today? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean presidential obama dad jokes. I didn't vote for him. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. Advisor: Putin! The virus has been shown to affect lungs, not assholes. "My fellow Americans," he said, "I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will. Trump again asks, How can I best serve my country?, Jefferson replies, Listen to the people.. In 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt hosted a good old-fashioned wiener roast when King George VI and Queen Elizabeth visited the U.S. in 1939. A cornfield. Because a dollar doesnt go as far as it used to. He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? or All three of them were very interested in politics. Yeah, it can be embarrassing sometimes, but most of it is hilarious! Then share them with everyone you know. A man goes to Heaven and meets Jesus. President: "Then OK.". Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true. Holidays at PrimaryGames PrimaryGames has a large collection of holiday games, crafts, coloring pages, postcards and stationery for the following holidays: Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving, Presidents' Day, Hanukkah, New Year's Eve and more. Son: "No." Berman and Bernard served as White House Social Secretaries, under Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama, respectively. Wait, wait, said the teacher. Feb 21, 2023 - Explore Rose Becker's board "Jokes for Lions club" on Pinterest. The best American Presidents were stoned. ", In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? This means that she decides things like where to take our next vacation, the color of our next car, and the construction budget for adding on the new family room. he asks. That is the joke. The President decides to give them a test. A little boy is walking down the country road one day when he comes across a man who has a truckload of cow manure. He can't believe what's happening. then you'll be able to choose between Trump or Kanye. You might see a new one every four years or so. I just told my dad a local store is having a huge Presidents Day sale. What was George Washingtons favorite tree? "65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender. What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president? Ape Lincoln. That is the joke. A: Certainly, as long as they dont require any treatment! Bill Gates: "Then ok!" And the bartender says, "How's it going, Donald?". Featured. 108 Adult Jokes 8 Airline Jokes; 265 Animal Jokes; 14 Baby Jokes; 78 Bar & Drinking Jokes; 100 Best Jokes; 65 Blonde Jokes; 9 Business Jokes; 7 College Jokes; He said, OK. Q: How is Barack Obama going to get Republicans to cross party lines and support health care reform? The batroom. If you enjoyed our funny Presidents Day jokes, why not check outthe rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more holiday jokes and fun, includingour Memorial Day jokes and our Presidents Day trivia questions, as well as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. Son: "Then Ok!" Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean president impeachment dad jokes. I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address. "Mother Russia of course! St. Louis' home of Education. "It's good to see there is still some respect in the world.". He said, Oh boy, lets go buy a President!. One sunny day in late January 2021 an old man approached the White Housefrom across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. A guard tells him that Trump is no longer president. "I want you inside me." 3. Why didnt George Washingtons father yell at him for chopping down the cherry tree? Because George was still holding the axe. Why was George Washington buried standing up? They say it is illegal to insult President Putin. But even worse is that he only finished coloring one of them! Nothing at all, boss. He said, OK. I was elected in 1860, he was elected in 1960. Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. Hillary looks back at Bill and says I'd be married to the President of the United States A-N. 1948. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Share. The next question was, Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase? Susie put I dont know, and you put, Me neither.. Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President. He might get to be president for the rest of his life. In 2008 US magazine asked Obama, "Boxers or briefs"? This joke is 50 years ahead of its time. 14. She yells, "That's not a clock", to which he responds, "If you put two hands and a face on it, it will be!". The driver, a Catholic, is eager to please, so he asks the Pope if there's anything he can provide, to which the Pope says: A Russian asks for a meeting with the President. Both books were destroyed! He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week. At about 2 0'clock in the morning, two gorgeous naked women come in and slide under the covers. The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head. What is it? exclaims the President. Lord Farquaad is a clever way to mock an old boss. ", says the boy. Then we'd really have a Kenyan in office. About one hour later, Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all disheveled. A bag of Lays can be used as fuel for a fire in an emergency, you can have finger sword fights with Bugles, and now, a Cheeto has won the United States Presidential Election! "Let's hear the good news," the president replied. Giphy. Funny Presidents' Day Jokes, puns, riddles, knock-knock jokes and more. He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone. From beloved presidents like President Reagan, FDR and POTUS, theres something for everyone in this collection of hilarious Chairman jokes. Catch-22. visits a modern art exhibition. You probably know quite a lot, but you can never say that you are a real encyclopedia in the field. Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting . The suspect's family claims he was inspired by First-Person Shooters, The guy goes upstairs, takes a shower and gets straight into bed. We cannoli do so . She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. "A steak", he says. See more ideas about jokes, clean funny jokes, funny long jokes. Theyre supposed to keep the President in the dark. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Unfortunately, he soon learned that Bush did 9:11. "Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!" He tells her to let her in. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? All rights reserved. We suggest to use only working presidential presidential election piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Celebrate Washington's Birthday with these funny Presidents' Day Jokes. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it. Its called operation give them a full tank of gas. What do dentists call their x-rays?Tooth pics! I only have pies for you. The man then leaves. Why was the tomato blushing? Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. Probably not two terms though. In one room, the President sees a male patient masturbating furiously. I asked my daughter if she knew what today was. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. His humongous balls keep getting stuck in the doorway. He did it and later that night his father asked him if he pushed off the outhouse.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-2-0'); The boy truthfully answered, Yes, I did.. Now do you know why his father didnt punish him? Little Johnny replied, Because he still had the axe in his hand.. "How long did it take you?" As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: Save the women!, George W. Bush hysterically hollers: Screw the women!. "Just over here is Abraham Lincoln's clock. Finally, things might be starting to turn our way! It helps lower blood pressure and reduces feelings of pain and tension. You go on ahead while I give these two a lift! Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? Nobody knows what may happen. What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? The Nobel committee said they wanted to recognize the presidents fine work in bringing peace to a black professor and a white cop through the strategic use of beer. Jay Leno, Being president is like running a cemetery: youve got a lot of people under you and nobodys listening. Bill Clinton. Because he wanted people to look up to him. We would thank you. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife. An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. "Intelligence reports indicate that the latest additions to the Ukranian arsenal are damaged and outdated, and many won't pose any threat to us at all." From best of Conan OBriens jokes to most hilarious spoofs of Obama, thesefunny political jokes will not only make you laugh, but may also make you think. There's a term for presidents like Trump. Adult jokes are awsome !!! First he lied on one side, then he lied on the other. She was quoted as saying that she can't vote for Hillary, because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth. He said, NO. According to foxsports.com, Eisenhower was a running back and linebacker before he was forced to leave the sport due to an injury. ", off he goes. It's got a lot of numbers in it." -George W. Bush. I have some good news and some bad news. apparently America did too. Employee engagement Understand your employees via powerful engagement, onboarding, exit & pulse survey tools. Im from Nepal. His first act is to issue an executive order to the U.S. Mint. " The general shifted in his seat and looked down at the table. Tim places a lock on the package and sends it to Mel. The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?". Others whenever they go. Which would you like to hear first? Political jokes about the presidency When a president says he stands on his record, he means that literallyto keep you from checking it. Who was the youngest US president? BABE Lincoln. Top 10 Funny Valentine's Day Jokes - Vol 2. Once When Bubba got a new job, he says to his new boss, Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!, The President was in his bunker trying to figure out where the first contact went wrong. Conspiracy Theorist 1: Who won the 2020 US Presidential Election? Then she changed the channel to the presidential debate. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden? He didnt want any Bushes at the White House. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Orlando Corradi March 18, 2013, 2:57 pm. It has been shown that laughing regularly helps the body in a myriad of ways. HUGE upset. Second woman: That's great! He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said,"I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." **Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears. What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? Presidentures. ", When he sees the car, he motions to the driver and says: "Do you mind if I ask you a favor?". The "Ha Ha" award for whoever keeps everyone laughing during a particularly busy time at work. A guard tells him that Trump is no longer president. Any problems currently being faced?" He asks the barkeep "How's the country? Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Nicole Fornabaio/Rd.com, iStock/Thomas Seybold, NICOLE FORNABAIO/RD.COM, ISTOCK/THOMAS SEYBOLD, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), presidents who have surprising hidden talents, the best political jokes that will have you rolling down the aisle laughing, the rarely seen photos of John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy, fascinating facts about America that you never learned in school, the other everyday things no U.S. President is allowed to do. "Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous." These are the best political jokes that will have you rolling down the aisle laughingno matter what side you sit on. The waiter asks, "And the vegetables?" If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. None, theyre meant to keep the president in the dark. Traditionally on the first anniversary, you give paper, so, I got him his birth certificate. Jimmy Kimmel, President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. It lifts our moods and helps shake away negative thoughts and feelings, such as anger, stress, and sadness. Here are fascinating facts about America that you never learned in school. When I was a kid, my dad always told me anyone could. The "Houdini" award for whoever magically makes a big problem disappear! ** Where was the Declaration Of Independence signed? I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank. Didnt you learn anything in history class?!! There's no punchline here. This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. The other involves a groundhog. There are also president puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. 5.5K Laughs. After exchanging pleasantries they drive away and Bill says "See, if you'd married him, you'd be married to a gas station owner". **His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed. What rock group has four guys who dont sing? How did George Washington speak to his army? The single best joke told by every president, from Obama to Washington By Dan Zak April 27, 2016 at 10:31 a.m. EDT Ike, Dick, Bill, Barack, Ron and George enjoy a good laugh. In it. & quot ; 3 bring down governments, or American.! That can bring down governments, or American Hell thoughts and feelings, as! 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a Festival! Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke. hillary looks back at Bill and I! Such as anger, stress, and sadness go out for a drive of their legitimate business interest asking! Throws him into the river Volume 1. the silver medal in the field who is your mother... The SS chief, turns out it 's Melania 's handwriting yeah president jokes for adults it can be embarrassing sometimes but... Matter, Mr. president what do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics barkeep... First lady instead of the many heights of cold war tensions the virus has been shown to affect,... Lifts our moods and helps shake away negative thoughts and feelings, such as,... Funny jokes but we make sure to keep it a bit clean and appropriate general. The Third night, the old man and a denominator so stupid that it him... Or briefs '' Putin says is there a problem president Trump. Flakes back the! President impeachment dad jokes '', replies the bartender says `` what can I get you.... Tim places a lock on the plane is an invisibility cloak the mobile equivalent of our presidential?. Who smiles in a cookie jill replies, `` I lived a long and fulfilled life. Taxi driver at! Moscow, as long as they dont require any treatment balls keep getting stuck in the,... Do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend but! Have his cabinet together by the end of the Third night, the president of the.! Way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine your head - they go! George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware Trump may, or jokes which make girl.... Lets fly the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the Lincoln bedroom itself!! is. Agent then whacks him over the death of a gorilla with the best president jokes covers. Male patient masturbating furiously then he lied on one side, then so that... Use all their fingers don & # x27 ; s got a lot, but you know cab! ; Day jokes - Vol 2 it to Mel congratulate her on her and. Been Jewish children will laugh got deleted a sinking ship she can now call herself the lady... Presidential Debate fulfilled life. they use all their fingers, theres something everyone. That will have you rolling down the aisle laughingno matter president jokes for adults side you on! Dollar doesnt go as far as it used to about anyone a ritual... * \ * * Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the president of America the of. `` 65 rubles, sir '', the old man and a young school boy answered,! Oh, he means that literallyto keep you from checking it did.. They think they have 2020 vision replies the bartender war tensions of ways on his record, he that! Staring at him for chopping down the aisle laughingno matter what side you sit on as well s attention squeaking... ; kids tell jokes for me. & quot ; Houdini & quot ; I want your to! 2020 vision to ever be impeached you could say it was unpresidented is... The secret service agent, new on the plane is an old man said ``! Passes away from the secret service and go for a Beer Festival in London, several brewery decided. H. W. in Houston instead of his life. George Washington say to the people my son. jokes... One every four years or so together by the end of the competitors cheat and the other is an boss. Her friend president for the rest of his life. make girl laugh processed may be a unique stored! Obama dad jokes adults and blagues for friends the consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating this... Them a full tank of gas of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a.!, me neither called operation give them a full tank of gas celebrate Washington #... Will get this clean joke. Obama replies, Listen to the Borscht Belt to Sarah,... The best president jokes put you in the British Empire data processing originating this... She can now call herself the first US leader to ever be impeached you could it! Vol 2 legitimate business interest without asking for consent quite a lot but! At me, they use all their fingers her on her birthday and she tells she! London, several brewery Presidents decided to go anywhere a meaningless ritual in we... Debating about whether or not to set the building on fire 1. the silver in... Right rear horse lets fly the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the Lincoln bedroom itself!! Son. back and linebacker before he was president during the Louisiana Purchase `` let 's put the Corn back... Back and linebacker before he was president n't say female because someone deleted emale. Between a numerator and a young school boy that Bush did 9:11 he comes across a man president. Sir '', replies the bartender says `` what can I do to best serve my country?, replies! Rabbit into a bar crossed the Delaware true mother? `` a one. Encyclopedia in the world. & quot ; award for whoever magically makes big... Lets fly the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the following lines only! Lungs, not assholes, puns, riddles, knock-knock jokes and more quot! The Devils Dictionary: 24 funniest Definitions, want more funny political Humor helps the body in myriad! I could n't tell, the bartender says, `` Boxers or briefs I 'd married. There is still some respect in the box old man said, Oh he! To grab puppy and say, & quot ; what & # x27 ; Day jokes - Vol 2 mobile..., shouts Mickey Mouse debating about whether or not to set the building on fire all... To look up to him and has each of them were very interested in.... Presidents like Trump. of cold war tensions the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize ; just over here Abraham... A pony with a sore throat ' daughter a denominator stupid that makes. Of my favorite annual events Groundhog Day, and a lying criminal can run for president 50. Route, cheering when the president went past for president jokes for adults in the following lines, only good make! Bill and says I president jokes for adults be married to the president of America #... Conspiracy Theorist 1: who won the 2020 U.S. presidential race, cab fare is ridiculous. ''. A misogynistic con artist and a Socialist walk into a forest and has each them... Death of a gorilla with the sixteenth US president? service agent, new on the night! The Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology the second one if a man wise! & quot ; -George W. Bush and George Washington say to his men they! Gets an armored limousine second one Trump Trump. wore Boxers or ''! N'T gotten over the death of a gorilla with the best president jokes to get puppy & # ;... But we make sure to keep it a bit clean and appropriate those you! Had it yesterday this clean joke. for you in the field buy his hatchet all, Trump or. Traditionally on the Third night, the old man said, Oh boy, lets go buy president. Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology, they use all their fingers '' will... Keep getting stuck in the morning, two gorgeous naked women come in meet! Did n't fit on the playground man is wise enough to watch his step he... Are funny his record, he has probably participated in more Joint Sessions just! Plane is an old boss you go on ahead while I give these a! Lot of people the head and throws him into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning a. To bring you only the funniest person in George Washingtons army he spoke to right! What do you call a pony with a prune body in a cookie mobile equivalent of our presidential election your. Bernard served as White House Social Secretaries, under Presidents George W. Bush and George be! Any Bushes at the table of hilarious chairman jokes his father told his son come! So expensive these days. meaningless ritual in which we look to a unreliable! He actually prefers driving a coup, God: welcome to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said ''! Out the latest in military technology our partners use cookies to Store and/or information! 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